10 Online Dating Tips For Men Over 40
(I'd like to thank Jonathan Bird of Warehouse Dating for this guest post. You can read more about Jonathan at the end of the article.)
After 20 years, you're single again and, brace yourself, on the brink of dating! How should you begin? Maybe call that old school flame? Reach out to that work colleague you didn’t find entirely irritating? Sign up for a singles online dating site? Here are a few tips to help you find love online.
The first hurdle is to wrap your head around this new online dating adventure. After all, unless you work for the human resources department of a big company, where else are you going to meet as many eligible singles? Remember: all the good ones are not actually taken. They are online looking for you right now!
Some things don't change:
It's always been challenging to meet women. Even with dozens of dating sites, it still is. Use the classic dating strategies, just modify them for use online: introductions through friends, blind dates, meeting through online activities (Facebook, recreation, religious, etc.), and plain old serendipity. Tell everyone you know that you're interested in dating. Ask to be fixed up. Get involved in activities you enjoy and make sure to add them to your bio. Through them, you'll probably meet women who also enjoy them, women who might become friends – and eventually, maybe more.
The numbers are on your side:
It's not ‘two girls for every boy,’ like the Beach Boys sang, but demographics trend that way. First, the bad news: Men die younger than women. The good news: As the decades pass, women increasingly outnumber men, which subtly works in your favour. For every 1,000 births, by age 50, women outnumber men 954 to 920, according to a 2009 UK report. At 65, it's 871 to 791. So the odds are in men's favour – and women know it. That's one reason why Betty and Veronica no longer sit by the phone waiting for Archie to call. If a woman is interested in you, she'll probably initiate contact, either by instant message or email.
Women will, so you better know what they'll find. Try to correct misinformation, or at least be prepared to prove that you're not the escaped serial killer who shares your name. And while you're at it, make sure your Facebook page won't raise eyebrows.
Image is important:
Tip: Upload smiling photos. Photos increase men's response rate 40 percent — for women, photos triple it! Another is that profiles provide good icebreakers. Beyond saying, ‘You're really cute and you live near me,’ you can add that like the woman you're contacting, you also play tennis, enjoy jazz music and participate in the occasional Aztec sacrifice, you know, the basics.
Dress for success:
You may be wonderful, but if you look like a total sea slug, women will flee. Trouble is, many men hate shopping for clothes. If that's you, get help. Ask a friend, preferably a woman, to accompany you. Consider getting a manicure and pedicure (Okay maybe don’t go that far). Plan to spend a day – yes, guys, one entire day – and one to two weeks' income on your makeover, just take a moment so you can recover from the thought of spending that much in one go.
Don’t expect immediate responses:
Women over a certain age will fill every single waking moment with something and usually not logging into their computers to actually be serious about online dating. Most consider online dating as a tertiary priority, right after cleaning the litter box.
Keep condoms handy:
Women over 40 aren't that different to the younger women you knew back in the day. They are, however, a little more careful and will almost certainly insist on using condoms. Make sure you're prepared.
Dating isn't mating:
Just as gold miners move tons of rock to find a few nuggets, you'll probably have to date dozens of women before you find Ms. Right. If you know that a budding relationship has no future, don't waste your time or hers. Say, “I'm sorry, but there's nothing here for me” And be prepared to hear those words yourself – frequently. When you do, be sure to ask, ‘Do you have any single friends?’ It never fails, trust me.
Shake it off:
The goal of online dating is to present you with opportunity. At some point someone who you are not attracted to or you view as not a match will contact you. The same thing could happen when meeting someone organically in your everyday life. Don't take it personally; embrace it as part of the overall experience and keep moving forward.
Jonathan is the Managing Director of Warehouse
Dating, a group of unique dating sites and informative blogs which strives to make online dating just