Do you ever stop and ask yourself “how do I want to feel?” It's probably not very often. We live in a time when we're encouraged to acknowledge our feelings but where life is so relentless that there's not always much time in which to do it. You might not realise it, but feelings can help you make better decisions! Read on to find out how.
How Do You Want To Feel?
Do you want to feel fearless, or silly? Perhaps you want to feel loved or maybe secure? There's no right or wrong answer and in fact the answer can change over time as we get our needs met.
If you find yourself falling in love with people who turn out to be everything you don't want, it could be that you're not checking in enough with how you feel when you're with them. By using your feeling barometer you can work towards making much better decisions, especially in romantic relationships.
The first step to making better decisions is to ask yourself how you want to feel. If you want to feel secure, ask yourself if the relationship you are in makes you feel secure. If you're about to start dating, ask yourself if you feel secure when with this new person. You might need to dig a bit deeper by asking how you can help the other person help you feel secure. Talking to the other person about how you want to feel will help them be there for you in ways that will give you the feeling you want to experience.
Can This Work In My Business Too?
It's not just romantic relationships that can benefit from a look at how you want to feel, business relationships can benefit from it too. For example, imagine you are considering taking on a new client. You're initial instinct may be “I have bills to pay and this new client will pay me” but don't let the chance of income stop you from checking in with your feelings first. If the client's values are not in line with those of your business it may be better to pass the client on to another company. You can use how you want to feel to decide if the client is a good fit for your business. Similarly, if you're thinking about hiring someone, you can use the same test.
It's not all bad if the feeling isn't right, as above, you might be able to remedy any problems with good communication.
The first step though, is to choose how you want to feel.
I wrote about this topic on LinkedIn recently, you can read that article HERE.