Why can't I find love?
As a matchmaker, a lot of what I do each day is about building a network of eligible singles to match with my clients. Every day I have conversations with singles who tell me they're doing everything they can to find love and they've got no idea why they're still single. Their number one question is Why Can't I Find Love?
These same singles tell me that their friends are finding great partners online or when they're out on a night out, even through work contacts. Despite the success their friends are having, they're still single and it's driving them crazy trying to fathom out why they can't find someone too.
I'm a curious person by nature, so I ask them to tell me what it is they're doing to find love. I wonder if I can help them; perhaps they're doing something wrong or maybe they're missing something out. The conversation usually falters pretty quickly… it turns out that many of the singles I talk with just ‘think' they're doing everything they can to find love.
When we dig deeper, it turns out that the singles who are struggling to find love have “tried” online dating but didn't like it so stopped going online or responding to messages. They've also “tried” dates with friends of friends but they didn't work out either. These singles are the ‘triers', the ones who try something briefly and then stop trying altogether if they don't get immediate results.
The struggling single ‘triers' I speak with tend to say “well, if it's meant to be, it'll be” or “I believe in fate”.
Fate and ‘meant to be' are all well and good, but unless those singles are taking action nothing will ever “just happen”. There's a difference between a being a thinker and a doer!
- You can think that trying one online dating site for two weeks is enough to find your perfect match.
- You can think that creating a vision board of your dream partner and meditating on it every day will magically make them appear.
- You can think that everyone else is luckier than you at finding love.
what the doers are doing is really fairly straightforward. What is the missing piece of the puzzle? What is the one thing the doers are doing that the thinkers aren't?
- They're taking action.
- They're saying YES to the ‘maybes' and yes to the ‘not quite but almosts'.
- They're not limiting their scope by sticking rigidly to a wish list that might be missing a key ingredient.
- They're not waiting for the hand of fate to step in and magic up their soul mate.
This might sound a bit harsh. Perhaps I'm being unfair?
If you're locked in a cycle of wondering “Why Can't I Find Love?” it's time to put a plan together. Finding a great partner is like finding a great job, you have to take action; this means –
- putting yourself out there,
- following up all the leads,
- connecting with as many people as possible,
- being open to the process
- Taking Positive Action
Here's to taking your first step!
What are you doing right now to find your perfect match? Tell me in the comments below, you never know, your top tip might be the thing that makes someone else take action!